Category Local Sports Team

Downtown Arena Construction: A look into the future

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” -George Santayana The first media tour of the construction site for Roger’s Place was given earlier this week. To the excitement of the city, officials said the downtown arena is on schedule and budget, and will be open by 2016. Among the promised amenities […]

Edmonton Oil Kings riot “a huge bust” says participants

Following the Edmonton Oil Kings’ victory over the Guelph Storm on Sunday in the Memorial Cup finals, hundreds of fans filled Churchill Square on Wednesday to participate in a traditional hockey riot. The event, however, was a major disappointment. While there was a speech by the mayor, a spirited game of ball hockey, and the […]

Bob Barker succeeds in controversial campaign to move Wayne Gretzky statue downtown

Don Iveson has confirmed that the statue of Wayne Gretzky, who made a mean beef stroganoff and is considered the greatest hockey player in history, outside Rexall Place, will be moved downtown upon completion of the new arena in 2016. The statue was built a year after Gretzky was traded to the Los Angeles Kings […]

Stroumbouloupolos to host Hockey Night in Canada: Stroumboulopolos

Ageless cherub George Stroumboulopoulos will be the host of Hockey Night in Canada starting in the 2014-2015 season. Himself, Ron MacLean, Don Cherry, Daren Millard and Jeff Marek will be cornerstones of coverage as NHL broadcasting is taken over by Rogers Communications. Stroumboulopolos has stated he is “very excited to be working alongside Canadian legends […]

Predictions for a happy new year

The progress of our Gregorian calendar has churned over yet another pristine stick of butter from the milk of yesteryear. Slowly, as we spread time on the bagel of humanity the year diminishes, doomed to disappear the night of December 31st, 2014. But for now, relish in the creamy cube of possibility and take fatty […]

Construction begins on downtown arena

Premature to the slated spring 2014 groundbreaking, construction began on the new downtown arena last Saturday night. Though in its infancy, the developing design has already faced criticism for straying from the initial proposal. The ice surface has been extended far beyond regulation size and, aided by Daryl Katz’s aftermarket Soviet era weather machine, covers […]

Hump day quickies: Phoenix Coyotes pee on Edmonton Oilers then subsist on small mammals, birds, snakes, and livestock

Edmonton is considering an additional $275 000 of funding for the summer green shack program. The provincial government cut the $1.7 million program that gives students summer employment, and children something to do other than cow tipping and unprotected sex. The program was cut due to confusion on Premiere Redford’s part. She had intended the […]