Corner Gas: The Movie. A sneak peak

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Corner Gas, CTV’s comedy about small town prairie life, recently started a kickstarter campaign to raise funds for a movie. The $100 000 goal was surpassed with 24 hours. Contributors to the movie, which has a total budget of over $8 million, are eligible for perks according to how much money they donated. $5 would get them a copy of the script, and $6000 would get them a speaking role, for example. Being a fan of the show, I donated $5, and have decided to ignore the non-disclosure clause and share a snippet of the script with you. Enjoy, and it goes without saying, spoiler alert!

EXT Corner Gas, OSCAR LEROY is covered in blood, standing over a mutilated dog carcass. The only identifiable thing in the mess of gore is a single eyeball, looking directly into the camera

BRENT enters

OSCAR: Secrets grow in these prairies, like plumes of blood unfurling in a wash basin.

BRENT raises his hand to OSCAR’s shoulder, he has a long yellowed fingernail on his pinky, he rakes it down OSCAR’s cheek. OSCAR shudders audibly.

OSCAR: Jackass.

INTERIOR The Ruby. LACEY, mascara running down her cheeks, is kneading dough, her hands are covered in weevils.

LACEY: I have to finish this bread before the lunch rush!

DAVIS and KAREN enter

LACEY: Oh no! It’ll just be one more minute!

KAREN: We don’t mind.

KAREN eats a handful of the dough, weevils drip down her chin as she chews the gluey flour.

CLOSE UP DAVIS stares forward, glassy eyed. A fly lands on his cheek and crawls into his mouth.

INTERIOR Corner Gas. Streaks of rain are running down the window, there’s a loud thud as a bird hits the glass and dies on impact. WANDA and HANK and EMMA are seated around a revolver in the centre of a table. HANK takes the gun, presses it to his temple and pulls the trigger. There is a click, the barrel was empty. WANDA, HANK and EMMA look disappointed.

WANDA: Hank, you idiot. You forgot to load the gun.

CLOSE UP of a cow’s pink tongue as it chews on dead yellowed grass. (4 minutes)

Based on the script, Brent Butt will have no trouble making the transition from lovable small screen star to auteur of vicious and surreal critiques of the decay of small town Canada. The film is tentatively titled Corner Gas: Suck the Earth of its Marrow and premieres in late 2014.

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